One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags.
I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
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Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
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^^My bro's new site/online store for hats and tees. Feedback welcome.^^
Go here for a selection of avatars and signatures donated by your fellow members. If you would like to make a contribution to the album, shoot me a PM. If you would like a custom made one, go here for avatars and here for signatures
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