Actually I think I win
In highschool, in drama class, some girl who had a crush on me was trying to make a joke about kneeing someone in the balls.... well she misjudged and connected flush with a knee to my right testicle. She actually managed to push my testicle up against my right leg, and CRACKED IT.
YES APPARENTLY TESTICLES CAN CRACK.
4 Hours later, since the pain had only gotten worse, I finally went to the hospital. 4 hours after that while I was about passing out from pain, a nurse put that gel they put on pregnant ladies stomaches, onto my balls (thank god for female nurses). They then concluded that my ball was cracked and I had to go get surgery.
So now I have 1.5 balls, both are functional thank god and I can still have kids.
But yea, I win now.
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